and a letter in your writing doesn't mean you're not dead

sitting here wishin' on a cement floor

just wishin' that i had just somethin' you wore

i'd put it on when i'm all lonely

will you take off your dress and send it to me?

last day of the year and where am i and what am i doing and where did you all go?

wish you were next to me. wish we were all strolling the streets of toronto, throwing the life ring in and eating ice creams.

i would hunt you down with my fox's eyes and my cat's claws. i would lick your face and dance around your feet. if i was there. if i wasn't oceans away. if time was my father and leisure was my lady.

i wish you'd leave with me

waking in the night and i can't get back to sleep. all the things going under, on, over, down...

down to the bottom and round on the bottom we go. uh oh.

surgery for bun tomorrow. vein and artery fused together in his arm, preparation for needles, needles everywhere so he can remove all his blood and put it back in by himself at home. needle-phobic, time to get over it. red ribbons spilt to blue, a sight to sore your eyes. love you with every bone in my blood-stained body. baby.

trying to forget...

i wish my mind was as blank as the screen.