love letter, go tell her

i got your letter in the mail and it melted me. even though i had read it already, it made it all the sweeter to have it in your handwriting. and the notes from everyone else confirmed the fact that no one can be you guys. we might make an island over here and it might turn into something that's not drowning in the swamp, but it feels like it will always be survivor australia. i'm staggered at how quickly things go down the counter-clockwise drain. the apartment is an ungodly mess. there is yoghurt congealing in bowls, with cereal slowly turning to sponge on top. toys lay scattered about and the dishes stew in the sink in well-meant (but now frigid) water. kleenex crumples squat on top of counters and wet towels lump around the bathroom floor.

at work there is no one to do experiments with. there is a sad lack of starburst to experiment on and no one willing to indulge me anyway. no one to raise eyebrows at over the cubicle wall or cry with laughter at the catz. i miss the shitty lumps of bubble bar tracked all over my carpet and mouncy's bouncy hair. i miss ian's soapy genitalia and graham's messy desk, mike's bagel train going off the rails every damned day and jillybean phoning all the "dears" in the world in one day. i've had to sequester myself in an office where there is no one else, just so i can play music (and not weird anyone out - i'm totally not feeling it over here and have had to keep a cap on my madness, which we all know will lead to more madness). lisa, lisa appletree, come save me from myself and the upside-downers!